


Stormy Nights

by padfootagain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 13:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: After years spent apart while Sirius was held in Azkaban, you finally see him again. But can things be the same as they were before he was arrested?





	Stormy Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Mainly fluff, a little bit of angst and sadness that always goes with Sirius post-Azkaban. Was written for an event on tumblr with the following prompts :  
> 13\. “I’m not good enough for you.”  
> 17\. “I don’t want you to leave.”  
> 49\. “I can’t live without you.”  
> 52\. “You’re everything to me.”  
>  Hope you like it :)

Outside the storm was raging. The wind was caught in the branches and seemed to be howling for help to escape from the trees. The heavy rain was crashing against the windowpanes. The shutters were loudly slamming. It was dark outside, no moon, no stars to scare the darkness away, they were all hidden by the dark clouds that had sent this storm upon your little town.

But despite the storm, you had heard it. The sound of someone opening the front door. You had magically locked it, which meant that it was a Wizard or a Witch who had entered your home.

You silently walked down the corridor, your wand at the ready, trying to listen to every sound of the house…

You reached the stairs. A lightning bolt shed some light inside the house for a few seconds, before the sky would growl menacingly.

It had been just a flash, just for a second, but you had seen him… you gasped, and your wand fell from your hand in shock.

You walked slowly down the stairs, your eyes fixed on the animal that seemed to be waiting for you at the bottom of the staircase.

You could have recognized him anywhere, anytime. Even after all these years… How could you have ever forgotten these grey eyes of his…

“Sirius?” you breathed, your voice barely audible above the sound of the storm.

Slowly, the dog changed shape, and turned into a man. You gasped one more time at the sight of him…

His cheeks were pale and covered by a long beard. His cheekbones seemed to cut through his pale skin. Under his eyes, two dark circles showed how much he was tired, along with the red in his eyes. His once so soft lips seemed now to be as dry as parchment. His hair was disheveled, he was clearly much skinnier than the last time you had seen him. But then, he had been gone for years…

What had this prison done to him?

“Y/N…” he breathed softly, and you recognized his voice immediately, the sound bringing tears in your eyes. “I’m sorry… perhaps I shouldn’t have come…”

“What are you doing here?”

“I… I just wanted to see you.”

“But you’re on the run… you can’t stay here, it’s not safe.”

He nodded slowly, clearly disappointed. He bent down to pick up your wand and handed it to you.

You thanked him, before turning on all the lights in the room. You finally noticed that his cloths were mere rags, and that he was covered with tattoos now that he didn’t have before his time in jail.

You finally walked down the stairs completely, and stood right before him.

“I’ll go then,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “It wasn’t a good idea to come anyway.”

You hesitated for a second. But despite all these changes you had noticed, you could still see the same sweet, reckless boy you had fallen in love with you so many years before… and that you still loved.

“You can take a bath first if you want,” you said. “And eat something warm. I’ll give you decent clothes too.”

You saw tears shining in his eyes, and a small smile appeared on his broken lips.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

He followed you upstairs and you gave him some of his old clothes that you had kept with you all these years. At the sight of them, tears were back in his eyes, but there was a proud glint in them as well, as if he was glad that you had kept something about him.

You also gave him a towel, and you let him get clean while you prepared some food for him. He used to love your lasagnas, so you prepared some.

It was strange to see him again. He didn’t look exactly like the boy you had loved though, and yet… yet you knew it was still him. It just seemed that his real self was buried inside of him now.

When he walked back downstairs, in his old clothes that were now too large for him, shaved, his hair combed, you thought you were just facing an exhausted and skinnier version of Sirius.

Hell… you had missed him so much…

“Sit down,” you said, pointing at a chair. “It’s ready.”

He nodded, sitting around the wooden table. He grinned at the sight of the food.

“I love your lasagnas,” he said.

You blushed slightly.

“I know you do.”

You served him some food, before sitting down on the other side of the table, staring at him as he ate like he was famished.

Actually, you guessed that he was really famished.

None of you spoke before he had finished, and you gave him more pastas, that he ate more slowly this time.

“So… they’re still after you, right?” you finally asked.

He nodded slowly.

“I read about your little adventure at Hogwarts,” you said.

“Yeah well, it wasn’t much useful in the end. Wormtail got away…”

You could hear bitterness in his voice now. But then he looked up at you, and you could see fear in his eyes.

“You know I’m innocent, right?” he breathed, his voice slow and shaky. “You know I didn’t betray Lily and James.”

“Of course I know, Sirius,” you reassured him.

He heaved a relieved sigh.

“What are you going to do now then?” you asked him, but he shrugged.

“I have to go in hiding. I hate it,” he admitted. “But I don’t have much choice.”

“Where will you go?”

“Away from England at first. Away from Europe probably.”

You nodded slowly, and you let him eat in peace. Once he had finished his meal, you started to clean up all the mess you had done to prepare his food, while you let him walk around the house.

You found him standing in the middle of the living room, right before the hearth. He held a picture in his hand, that he had picked up on the mantelpiece.

You were smiling, a man next to you. You were holding his arm, and waving at the camera with him.

A tear fell down on the glass that covered the picture.

He hadn’t expected to find you single, but it still hurt…

“Sirius?”

He looked up at you, sweeping the tears off of his face.

“I’m happy for you,” he lied, and he had always been terrible at lying to you. “Are you married?”

“Sirius…”

“I mean… I… I knew you wouldn’t be alone now. I knew you would have found love again. I mean… you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He tried to put the picture back on the mantelpiece, but somehow he couldn’t, and he found himself merely staring at it again. It was like holding the life he had missed. The life he should have had. The life he would never have now…

“ _I’m not good enough for you,_ ” he said softly, a sad smile on his lips. “I’ve never been. Now, I guess it’s even worse than when we were younger. Look at me… I’m barely half the man I once was…”

“How did you survive all these years?” you asked, your question earnest. “If it had been me, I would have gone crazy… I mean… the Dementors… they must have taken everything from you in so many years.”

But he slowly shook his head, and his sad smile was still on his lips.

“No, they couldn’t. There were memories and feelings far too strong, even for them.”

“Which ones?”

He brushed his thumb against the glass of the framed picture, tracing the side of your face, his eyes still fixed upon the moving image.

“You.”

You couldn’t help but gasp, feeling tears forming at the corner of your eyes.

“ _You’re everything to me,_ ” he breathed. “You will always be the one. I never stopped loving you for a single second, and I don’t think I ever will. Do you remember? How happy we were before everything was broken? You made me so happy… And even the Dementors couldn’t fight against that. You’re the reason why I’m still breathing. You’re the reason why I didn’t completely lose my mind there…”

He sniffed, and this time he didn’t try to hide the fact that he was crying and he let the tears roll down his cheeks.

“I’m glad you found someone else,” he said, and you knew that he partially meant it, that he wasn’t mad or bitter at you at least. “You deserve so much more than what I could give you. You deserve to be happy, to have a family… Do you have children?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“How could I? The man I loved was in jail.”

He finally looked up at you again, staring intensely into your eyes. You walked until you were standing next to him, and pointed at the man on the picture he was still holding in his now trembling hands.

“That’s my cousin, Andrew,” you said with a smile.

“So… you’re not… married?” he stuttered, his eyes wide with hope and disbelief.

You shook your head.

“And you’re not… with someone else?”

You shook your head again.

“How could I be with anyone than you, Sirius? I’ve always loved you more than it’s reasonable to love.”

The picture fell from his hands, slipping through his fingers, and the glass shattered on the ground. But none of you cared. You were staring at each other, and for the first time in an eternity, the world was just the two of you. No more storm raging outside, no more Aurors or Dementors looking for him, no more sorrow or pain. It was just the man you loved standing in front of you.

For the first since he had entered your house, you touched each other. His fingertips brushed against yours, and you both smiled and cried at the same time, too many emotions bubbling inside your chests for you to deal with.

“I missed you,” you breathed.

“I missed you too,” he whispered.

“I knew I would see you again. Somehow… I knew you’d come back to me sooner or later. You’ve never been able to stay away from me for long anyway.”

You both laughed.

“I’m sorry it took me so long though,” he said. “But you know how much I love teasing you.”

“Well, next time, don’t feel obliged to make it last for so long.”

“That’s a deal.”

Somehow, the space between your bodies had shrunk as you talked…

“I love you, Y/N,” he whispered, resting his hand on your cheek, and you found that the feeling of his skin against yours hadn’t changed at all, it still made you shudder. “I love you with all my heart.”

“I love you too, Sirius. I love you, you bloody idiot…”

You both laughed, your cheeks drenched with tears, before he would close the space between your lips.

And he still kissed you teasingly slow at first, before he would let go and let all his feelings wash over you, just like he used to do before he was sent to jail, when the two of you were just kids.

His lips were not as soft as they were by then, and his cheekbones were sharper under your fingertips, and his hair wasn’t as silky as before under your palm, but you didn’t care. Physically, it felt slightly different, but the feelings were the same, and it was all that mattered.

He rested his brow against yours, both of you breathless.

“ _I don’t want you to leave,_ ” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even closer to you.

“I must,” he said. “I’ll have to leave in the morning.”

“No, not this time. This time you’re staying with me…”

“Y/N, it’s too dangerous. They’ll find me if I stay here for too long.”

You started to cry again, but it was of sadness this time, not of joy or relief.

“I can’t let you go, not again.”

“Y/N, listen to me…”

“No. No, I won’t listen. Because you’ll sound all wise and protective but that’s also how you sounded 12 years ago, and now look at the mess we’re into.”

“I can’t stay. They’ll find me. Y/N, they’ll find me and this time I’ll be sentenced to death, and you’ll be sent to Azkaban for having helped me.”

“Then I’ll go in hiding with you.”

“No, you can’t do that…”

“You know I can.”

“It’s madness.”

“ _I can’t live without you._ I spent 12 years surviving and I’m tired of it. Sirius take me with you. Please… And if you don’t want to, then I’ll go looking for you.”

He kissed your lips again, before heaving a sigh, and you knew at the sight of his little smirk that you had won.

“You can always convince me to do anything at all anyway…” he breathed. “I guess you should come then. I know you’re too stubborn to let go.”

This time, you were the one to crush your lips to his.

“You’re stuck with me all over again,” you grinned.

He laughed, lifting you up and carrying you towards the stairs.

“Well… I’m happy to tell you that you’re stuck with me too. I’m not letting go. I promise.”

“We’ll be together now, right?”

“Yes. You know the silly ‘and they lived happily together ever after’? Well, it’s going to be us now.”

“Sounds great. As long as you promise that you won’t turn into a dog to steal cuddles too often…”

“But my puppy eyes are much more efficient on you when I am actually a dog. So…”

You both laughed.

“I love you, Sirius.”

He put you down on your bed, hovering above you, his fingertips tracing your cheekbone, a dreamy smile on his face.

“I love you too, Y/N.”


End file.
